I feel irrationally angry today, like there are nails sticking out of my back and my fingers have turned to claws. I don’t want to hurt anyone, so I move slowly and gingerly, keeping a distance.
I want to leave work early. Maybe I’ll get lucky.

1 day ago - 1 note
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Contact the folks and maybe your bank too? Is there a ‘floating’ payment as in some proof you pressed the pay button or w/e on a certain date?

It says that it’s pending, and that it is scheduled for today? heavy sigh I guess it will be fine.

2 days ago - 1 note
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Has a panic attack

this is fucking ridiculous

I made my payment on friday!  I overpaid by a bit, too!  There is plenty of money in my account!  It should be going through!  But now I’m being marked as past due!  Which is not a good thing!

2 days ago - 2 notes
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Of course.

On the day my student loan payment is due, my bank account wont update to show me if the payment went through.  Nor will the servicer show me that they accepted the payment.

Good.

I don’t have enough money to just double send it, so I have to hope that it goes through today.

It’s beyond ridiculous how much school costs, and how my $26,000 debt is considered really, really good.  It’s ridiculous that i’m struggling to make a $210 payment each month, and that I have to do some serious planning around it.

Whenever I get stressed out about money, I start beating myself up about how dumb I was in high school.  How I should have worked harder, gotten scholarships, how I should have gotten summer jobs, how I should have learned to drive, all these things that I had viable reasons why I didn’t.  The past is in the past, and I have to just accept it and make things work, but I wish I had done things differently.

I’m sticking to my plan, though, next month I’m going to throw my resume at a bunch of places, and hopefully it will stick to one or two of them.

I also want to move out fairly soon, and I am seriously thinking about taking on a room mate.  Part of me doesn’t want to, I would like to live alone for a little while, but…I feel like I should, if for no other reason than to cut rent payments in half each month.  I’m nervous about that, though, I don’t really enjoy the prospect of living with a stranger, I’d rather go with someone I know.  But all my friends are states away or in their own living situations, so…I guess I’ll figure it out, once I see what my budget is.

There is so much to do in so little time.

2 days ago - 1 note
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23 year old seeks room mate
She’s vaguely serious this time

4 days ago - 1 note
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Money anxiety is kicking in again. I was doing so well, but I miscalculated, and now I’m set back again.
I might see if I can lower my student loan payments so they total at $120 or something for right now, because I feel like I’m not financially responsible enough right now that I can handle $210, at least until I get a higher paying job.
I hate this. I hate this so much. I though I was doing okay, I though I had it under control, and I guess I do, but just barely??? In times like this, it honestly feels like the system is designed to keep me down, keep me in a state of constant stress and worry, so I’m tired all the time, and days pass by faster. I’m tired when I get home, so I put off finding new jobs for the next day. And the next day. And repeat until the end.
I’m so tired/upset/unhappy I’m thinking about conspiracies.
That’s where I’m at today.

1 week ago - 1 note
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As a stress reliever, I might be starting archery.

2 weeks ago - 1 note
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I finally figured out why I no longer feel any empathy towards my mother.

She feels none towards me.  She no longer asks how my day went, she seems disinterested when I talk.  It’s my brother who asks, it’s my brother who actually gives a shit (sorry for the language) when it’s not good.

Instead of trying to make me feel better, after my brother asked how my day went, and I told him not good, and that I had to go in again tomorrow (even though its my day off, and I already had to go in on monday, also my day off), and was unsure for how long, and am clearly visibly sad and tired, she chooses to yell at me about how the bathroom was not clean and how she had to clean it.  She doesn’t even acknowledge how shit of a time I’m having at work right now.

She acts like I’m going to be in this house forever, and every day I am so much closer to just taking some massive loan out of the bank and leaving.

I might dig up some of my old artworks and create a commissions post, so I can maybe start to build up a small fund, because I barely have enough to save with this job, between student loans, my phone bill, and gas money. (hint, minimum wage part time does not pay much.  I’m lucky if I break $350 every two weeks.)

I’m so tired and I can feel myself going back to where I was a few weeks ago, and I don’t want to do that, I’ve been doing good lately.  I just need to get out.

2 weeks ago - 1 note
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23 year old girl seeks room mate

must be neat, motivated, like cats and dogs, willing to share the load, and not in to super illegal activities

The girl is willing to move just about anywhere, or help move from somewhere

The girl is looking to move out by October of this year

The girl has plans to be able to support herself by then

A little bit about the girl?  She’s quiet, like to keep to herself, but is friendly and tries her best to be nice.  She does not smoke, but she does drink on occasion.  She has no significant other so there will be none of that business.  She likes video games, movies, books, and being surrounded by good people, even if it’s through skype.

The girl wants to leave home as soon as possible, and is coming to grips with the reality of that prospect.  The girl is actively searching for a job, as well as an apartment.  The girl figures that while she would prefer to live alone, it might be best to split rent with someone.

The girl is only 60% joking in this post.

The girl so badly wants to get out and start her life.

2 weeks ago - 1 note
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Anonymous asked: What if Sauron stole Ancalagon The Black from Angband's dungeons for the Luthien because of feelings and this great dragon protect Doriath from destruction? (AU)

I
I
Yes
(Also I feel like this question was directed to the wrong person but ILL TAKE IT ILL TAKE THE RING TO MORDOR)

Edit: I want to write a little story about this now and the characters will probably be all wrong and awfully out of character but part of me won’t care because cute dark lords trying to impress elf ladies with dragons like what isn’t there to like about that

3 weeks ago - 0 notes
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- forth